![]() “Can’t bring that in here, I’m afraid,” the bartender says. Guy walks into a bar carrying a plastic statue of Elvis dressed as Abraham Lincoln. What did Jackson Pollock order at the diner? Dracula orders it but seems disappointed when it arrives. Tonight’s special is the “Triple-B”: a croquette made of beef, bacon, and blue cheese. Any flavor combination you can think of, they’ll make a croquette out of it. They’re at a place known for their croquettes. How many Imps does it take to screw in a lightbulb in the hours just before dawn?ĭracula is out to dinner with his wife, Draculina. What do you call delicatessen for intellectual giraffes? One of their skis knock over the drink of a man at a table near the door: a guy drinking rum and orange juice to drown his sorrows over not being cast as Prospero in the production of The Tempest being put on by the employees of the dental technology company where he works. Why did the seasick cucumber go to the homeopathic pharmacy?įive Wayne Gretzky impersonators walk into the bar, each one carrying a pair of skis and a fall wreath. What do you call a sheet of corrugated steel that’s floating in the Dead Sea? How many members of Albert Pujols’s entourage does it take to assemble a deck chair purchased at Home Depot?ĭid you hear the one about the hobbit who played table tennis with the Pope? What do you get when cross a rapscallion with an Italian scallop? ![]() The waitress walks over and says, "Well if it isn’t: Or, we should say, normal size baseball caps for pigeons (if there were such a thing) but small compared to standard-sized baseball caps for human heads. The other six are wearing tiny baseball caps. Seven intoxicated pigeons convene at an all-night diner. By the time he reaches Kyle McLaughlin, he’s sobbing. He unfurls it and proceeds to read the names of forty famous Kyles, growing more enthusiastic and unhinged with each one. What did the Venetian blinds salesman say to the horse who had difficulty understanding the concept of the free market?Ī man walks into the bar. What do you get when you put several vegetarian hedgehogs in a hammock? We don’t know, but it’s definitely on you! We interrupt this unending parade of endless jokes and great deals to bring you this absolute joke of a product. What is the most popular college major among despondent Oklahomans? What does Dame Judi Dench order at the 24-hour pho place? What do you call a trout that refuses to eat worms? What is Captain America’s favorite fast-food chain? And keep checking back for more great deals and unfinished jokes all day long! So go ahead and post your best punch lines in the comments. Now, all you need to do is come up with the ending. We set up the joke, which everyone knows is the hard part. What do you call an orchid that only grows in Alaska?
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